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Husband’s new treatment starts today -feeling terrified!

Husband’s new treatment starts today -feeling terrified!

Posted By
10/8/2018 9:03am
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Replies: 10

Hi All,

   Bill is in his sixth year of this disease. After being stable for almost 3 years he has lung nodules again. He is starting the Cleopatra regimen for breast cancer since he has the her-2 mutation (Sloan Kettering testing) and immunotherapy stopped working. 

   I greatly admire people on this board who remain positive despite difficult circumstances. I’m having trouble getting my fighting spirit back so I can help bill. Please help.



Hey Maureen,

I was hoping you would update us on Bill's next treatment plan.  Hang in there Maureen.  The toughest time is always the grind of trying to find a treatment path and then the anxiety of not knowing if it's going to work.  Once you get into the treatment routine I'm confident you'll get that fightning spirit back.  How is Bill holding up?  You guys have been an amazing team through this journey.


Thanks so much Brian for your kindness. Bill is feeling great ! He’s in great physical shape but his blood levels are lower because of the previous chemo drug. Of course, he is optimistic as usual. I think you’re right that I will slowly get it back. I just hate seeing him go through all of this!!! Thanks for boosting my spirit. Love to you and your family !!


Dear Maureen,

I have always felt that my struggles have been harder on my dear B than they have been on me!!!  (He would tell you differently, but....)   I think having to watch and wait and hope, while feeling as though you have no way to intervene in your loved one's trajectory must be maddening.  But!  That's where you are right...and wrong.  When our loved ones are there beside us...with uplifting courage as well as when they acknowledge they are down and is a gift greater than any that medicine can provide.  Not all relationships survive such stressors.  But when they do, those are peeps that we KNOW have our backs and guard our matter the fluctuations of their spirit.  So, in whatever state you find yourself in - know that Bill is thankful for your love, your touch, your smile, and yes....even your tears.  It is the teamwork, the feeling that there is in fact someone in the fight WITH you ~ that matters.

You can do this.  I hope this treatment with be just the thing that Bill needs and is not too difficult to manage.  Much love, celeste

Here goes my tenth time in trying to post this!

Celeste, you are such an amazing person! Thanks from the bottom of my heart for lifting my spirits. For you to take the time to write to me and so many on this board since you have been through so much lately speaks volumes of your kind spirit. I hope you are feeling better! Much love to you and your b!


Maureen, my husband went to a couple of support group meetings specifically for spouses of cancer patients and he says they helped him. I noticed the change, more calm, more stable. The uncertainty can surely be excruciatng, but the treatment routine will help. Sending you and Bill all good wishes.


October 2017 primary scalp WLE; SLNB; partial neck dissection (PND). July 2018 recurrence in neck. August 2018 second PND. September 2018 started Nivo. December 2018 SRS for brain met January 2019 Pisces trial IL-12 + Pembro. .


Thanks Lisa. I appreciate your advice. It’s been awhile since I’ve been to a support group but I think I should do it again. It does help knowing you are not the only one going through things.


Hi Maureen, im Mike nice to meet you (under our shared circumstances anyways!) Like brother BrianP & others have said, your inner Fight Mode will reappear cuz it NEVER left Maureen! We are built to survive & to support our loved ones, it aint no thang, it aint no thang...Bill & you got this!

Im Melanoma and my host is Mike..

Hey Mike,

    Thanks Mike! You are in fact one of the people I admire on this board because of your uplifting, funny, caring personality. I truly hope your surgery goes well ! Take care.


Hi Maureen - I’m so sorry you and your husband have to go through this mess. One step at a time, you’ll get through it.

Are you in the MD-DC-VA area? If so, read on. If not, ignore the rest of my babbling. Inova’s “Life with Cancer” program is quite good, free (!), and you do not have to be an Inova patient to attend anything. There’s Individual counseling, groups, nutritional counseling, a gym, lounge to just hang out. I attended an art therapy workshop for patients/family/friends that’s held monthly, and my husband and I met with a dietician after he had gut side effects from nivo and/or ipi. Most activities are in a serene lodge-like “house” with free parking/easy access, and area hospitals have some programs. 

(Reading your profile, Dr. Venna left WHC to start up/direct the Melanoma Center at Inova, and my husband squeaked into a trial through them a day or two before it closed worldwide.)

Hang in there -


Thanks so much for the information Beth! We miss Dr. Vienna! We live in Gaithersburg Maryland and his doctor is at Aquillino Cancer Center which provides the same wonderful support systems. Also, I volunteer at Hope Connections for Cancer Support which provides many free support systems too. I stopped going to the caregiver support groups because Bill was doing great but I need to go back. If you and your husband ever want to get together with us let us know. Take care and we wish you the best!